If I could relive any moment in my life again, would I?
Introducton
As I jolted down the outline that would eventually become my post, I pondered this question again. Before, I was planning to say no and explain why.
I was thinking about the things that happened in my life that weren’t for the betterment of my soul.
It’s funny how, depending on your background, your mindset towards life’s regular ups and downs would be different.
I used to make fun of those who always seemed to have an Elmo level of happiness daily. 😩
I would jokingly ask myself, “What are they so fucking happy for?”
Was it the hurts and pains that made me the analytical man I am today?
Or was this learned behavior from my family members as a child?
Then I thought about it and said naw, that’s Ice Cube and Dr. Dre’s fault. (🤣)
How were you taught to handle stress as a child?
Was it a productive way to handle stress?
The Answer
However, now I find myself changing the answer.
But maybe all those bumps and bruises made me go hard for the things that bring me true joy.
Which brings me to the topic of this blog post. Since I have elected to relive a moment in my life, which would it be?
It would be the birth of my son.
My son is coming
That was one of the scariest days of my life. As a man, you feel helpless when you are in that moment. You want to help the woman, but you know there is nothing you can do now.
It’s 90 percent confusion, 7 percent panic, and 3 percent anger because you know you can’t help your woman with this task.
I remember going into the hospital with my children’s mother, thinking: “This is it; I am about to be a dad again.”
My daughter’s birth
My daughter was in middle school at the time, so it wasn’t like I was a new parent, but I missed the birth of my daughter.
Missing that moment with my daughter was a loss on my part. It’s something that I regret to this day.
Being there to watch my son come into the world and hold him while he is still covered in goo is the connection moment for that child and you, the parent.
Thoughts of the father
Now, I am here in the hospital, walking next to Shereda as they wheel her down the hall towards the delivery rooms.
I remember thinking the whole time: “I hope it’s a boy this time.”
When my baby’s mother had our daughter, we were told by the doctor that she would be a boy. We had everything picked out in blue, and here comes Nia.
It is one of the stories of my life that made me the “Show Me” type of person I am today.
The doctor hands me my son. He is all covered in goo. I remember looking down and thinking wow, here is my physical countdown clock to old age. (LOL)
In Conclusion
Black men have been fooled by the stereotypes and the programming of Jim Crow into missing one of the most powerful encores to our children.
Being there for your child being born is no different than being there for the homies on a drill.
You made this person, and you will let them come into this world alone, bro?
To any young parent debating being there for the birth of their child, I would say don’t miss it.
It doesn’t matter how much it costs or how much you must go through. It’s worth it for that once-in-a-lifetime connection to your child.
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My name is Kinfolk Wellin’ and my passion is making music 🎶
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